Social connection is a lifesaver
What’s the point of human existence if we’re not part of something bigger than ourselves?
Our need for connection is rooted deep within our biology — as important as food, water and shelter. In fact, a 2023 report by the U.S. Surgeon General stated that the mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and supersedes the negative impacts of obesity and physical inactivity.
During my days as a teacher, I attended a training on bullying. I learned that when kids have even one good friend, it serves as a significant buffer against bullies. Being a loner is not only hard enough on its own, but it’s also a magnet for cruel people who thrive on belittling others. What some don’t understand is that bullies themselves are struggling with something too, and to combat their own pain, they project their rage onto others.
I’ve written about the Blue Zones before — a handful of regions around the world where individuals live exceptionally long and healthy lives, often reaching 100 years old. These zones have a number of characteristics in common, and one of them is strong social connections. They make it a priority to gather together and enjoy the company of friends and family. This bonding experience is integral to a joyful and lengthy lifespan.
In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a sense of social connection comes before self-esteem and self-actualization. It’s hard to love oneself and become who you’re truly meant to be without a sense of community. Barber shops, beauty salons, front porches and church potlucks once served as meeting grounds for the type of social connection we crave. To a degree, we still have a lot of these cornerstone communal groups, especially in small towns, and for that, I’m grateful.
Consider the magnetic chemistry among a successful sports team — how they not only need each other to achieve a collective goal, but the support of teammates and coaches helps the individual grow and evolve into a better athlete and person. My older son is part of a nationally-ranked cross country team, and while they’re all talented runners in their own regard, something magical happens when they come together as a team. I like this example because running is often viewed as a solitary sport, but cross country reminds us that the sum is always greater than its parts.
Related Items
Time with nature: Retired professor brings forest therapy to Jackson County
Partner content: Taste of Local
Rural care gap drives MAHEC push west
Macon sets date for health board consolidation
There is a correlation between the rise of technology and the decline of social connection. The more and more we move into our phones and computers, the less we move outward into the world and into the lives of our friends, families and neighbors. In addition to that, the isolation we experienced during the pandemic didn’t help matters. We became entirely too comfortable sheltering in place and distancing ourselves from others.
Personally speaking, I feel enlivened and energized when I’m in a social setting. Sometimes it’s hard to take the initiative to dive into a social situation, but every time I do, I feel so much better afterward. I recently received a phone call from an extended family member I’d not spoken to in years. We talked for a while, and hearing the cadence and tone of our voices, as opposed to texting or emailing, was powerful. Similarly, I’m part of a group chat with several women from across the country and every now and then, we spontaneously hop on a group FaceTime call, and it is beyond fun. Sure, we’re all busy, and it’s hard to carve out 20 minutes to completely stop what we’re doing to get on FaceTime and talk, but every time we do it, we say, “We should do this more often.”
Something similar happens after church on Sundays. At first thought, it may seem more rewarding to ease into the day, drink that extra cup of coffee and skip church, but when I make the other choice — to get dressed, get out the door and get to church — I’m always proud of myself. It’s not simply the message from the pastor that is fueling, but it’s also the fellowship of being among friends and community members.
We’ve entered the holiday season, and during this time, I encourage all of us to remember the importance of social ties. If you’re lucky enough to already have a network, make the effort to reach out to friends even more than usual, and do this in person or over a phone call. Even more importantly, if you know someone who may be alone or struggling, please reach out to them and offer your light. It’s never easy to be alone, but it’s especially challenging during the holidays when happier memories can feel haunting or the longing to be in a different situation can be suffocating. Sometimes we forget what matters most. It’s not the money in our pocket, the accolades on our shelves or the gifts under the tree — it’s one another.
(Susanna Shetley is a writer and editor who lives in Haywood County. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)
