This must be the place: 'And a man must forfeit all he owns, for a glimpse at the reason why'

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This must be the place: 'And a man must forfeit all he owns, for a glimpse at the reason why'

Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Garret K. Woodward photo

By the time you read this, I will (hopefully) be the newest member of the 40-year-old club. God willin’ and the creek don’t rise. Onward into this next chapter of my existence. Head held high at what may come to pass in the next decade.

Lately, it’s been quite the existential processing about this milestone birthday. For me, I’ve always felt that getting older is a privilege, so long as you have mobility and your wits about you. That said, I’ve been going through a lot of my old writing files and circling back to what I was thinking and feeling in 2015.

As a writer, I have all these words, emotions, actions, and memories all down on the blank page, going all the way back to my college years. To note, I’ve been writing this column every single week since June 4, 2013 (when I was 28). Since then (including this week’s), there have been 608 columns.

So, I tracked down the column I wrote in February 2015 about turning 30. It’s refreshing to know my mindset and attitude on life remains the same. And yet, I’ve been lucky enough to acquire much more knowledge in the last decade when it comes to matters of the head and the heart.

Here’s some of that column:

“I used to look at the once far off 30 as a benchmark of if I was doing it right, ‘it’ being my existence. What matters most is keeping tabs on yourself (good health, positive mindset), holding steady in pursuit of your dreams (true success is a slow burn), and never forgetting that the ‘Golden Rule’ is the only rule.

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“So, here I am, on the threshold of 30, putting a final bookend on my twenties. No regrets. I milked the past decade of my life to the best of my ability. It’s all about finding that ideal balance of work and play (with a lean more toward play), doing what you love, working hard, but always ready to jump into the car for an unknown and spontaneous adventure.

“Life is about interaction and experience. It’s meant to be lived. Thus, the next time you look in the mirror, smile and rest easy knowing that you as a human being are not a number on this planet, but an intricate and integral piece of this endless puzzle that is the Universe.”

With that, I had this splendid epiphany when I got up this morning, which was very welcomed in my heart and soul after a pretty tumultuous fall and winter.

I’ve always been an eternal optimist, one who aims to radiate compassion and cultivate connectivity in my daily life, all with a deep sense of gratitude. But, with the heaviness of my existence as of late, I’ve found it hard to navigate through the dense, foggy forest of my mind.

Since I’ve started therapy last month, I’m beginning to have a renewed sense of self, one of focus and clarity in a modern world seemingly gone mad. One of the things I’ve learned in these bountiful sessions is pinpointing stressors in my life, things that trigger my anxiety, sadness, and lack of self-worth.

As I opened my eyes in bed earlier, I gazed over at the sunshine peeking through the window blinds. I noticed how beautiful the old tree branch is hovering over my apartment.

I scanned the bedroom and felt appreciation for the guitars in the corner that I truly look forward to playing each day, even if for 10 minutes between things I have to do outside of the front door. Although I’m just a novice guitar player, it’s become one of the most enjoyable experiences in my life.

I thought of how much I’m going to enjoy that cold brew coffee in my refrigerator, and how I’m glad I did pull into the grocery store the other day, seeing as I knew “future Garret” would really like some cold brew while sitting down to write at my desk come Sunday morning.

I thought of how much I do enjoy my quaint, minimalist apartment, with its small wraparound porch and views of the ancient Blue Ridge Mountains. Who cares about the stressor of not owning a home? Someday, it’ll happen. But, for now, remain thankful for very agreeable rent and living in a town that’s been the only place in my life I’ve honestly felt “at home.”

I thought about how incredible it is I’m able to pay my bills, put gas in my truck, buy groceries, take road trips and so forth simply by getting a full-time paycheck for typing out whatever it is I see, hear, feel and experience onto the blank page. Who cares that I’m not rich? I live a rich life, and one on my terms and in my own time. I choose to do what I want with my time, which is priceless.

I thought about my pickup truck and where I might go with it this afternoon and evening. Where to for dinner later, eh? Who cares that it’s not some fancy, new vehicle? I wouldn’t want that anyways. I like my reliable Tacoma, where I don’t get worried when I take it off-road on adventures. Who cares if it gets scratched? Much like my bodily scars, it’s reminders of a joyous life in motion.

I thought about the immense gratitude felt within in having an 18-year (thus far) writing career, one that’s enduring, growing, and still inspirational to me on all levels. And, most importantly, I thought about my physical body and my emotional mind.

I thought about where I might go for a run later. Around downtown Waynesville? Maybe a gloriously cold trail run up in the Balsam Mountains? Who knows? And who cares that I’m turning 40 soon? I’m inhabiting a vibrant body that’s roamed this earth for four decades, and it still is able to hike peaks and trot several miles whenever I want to.

I thought about how well therapy is going, and how I’m really seeing some shifts in my mindset and vantage point by which I was previously viewing my life. My mind is transcending into this new chapter of what was, what is, and what will be. It’s exciting and I’m approaching it with head held high. No fear, just love and curiosity. Let the mental walls down and let in those who deserve your time, energy, and love.

Oh, and to that, I thought of all of the soulmate friends that I’ve been able to cross paths and share life with. They are the true core of what it means to be a human, to interact and connect with one another in this universe. I mean, how lucky are we to have those folks to talk to whenever we want?

Erase the stressors. Embrace the beauty in your daily existence, for that’s what matters most, and what really is the meaning of life: focusing on the good things and working towards the big things.

Don’t forget, we all have our victories in our own time.

Life is beautiful, grasp for it, y’all.

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