To the Editor:

Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with all the scientific discoveries made on almost a daily basis, some of which are jaw dropping.

Earlier, we learned about the goat that was put in jail for car theft in Nigeria after they found out that he was in fact a human witch doctor who disguised himself as a goat to avoid prosecution. The last I heard the goat was still in jail and being obstinate by refusing to revert back to his human form. Certainly the FBI can utilize this information and may provide some clues as to the whereabouts of many criminals on the most wanted list.

In another earth-shaking (no pun intended) discovery, a politician in Pakistan has revealed that earthquakes in Pakistan are caused by women who wear jeans instead of gunnysacks to cover themselves. The discovery was announced at a press conference by one Maulana Rehman, a respected politician, and reported in the New Indian Express newspaper.

He went on to ascribe not only earthquakes to immodest women but the cause of inflation and power shortages. Just to demonstrate he is serious, he has called on the military to launch an operation against women.

Hmm, wonder how that new movie “San Andreas” would have turned out had the producers consulted with Mr. Rehman first. I haven’t seen the movie, but I must wonder just how many women in blue jeans were in the movie. All these years geologists believed that earthquakes were caused by underground faults and frankly, until now, I went along with their explanation. I now know better and attribute my new wisdom to a politician in Pakistan.

No doubt economists will be flocking to his door to learn about inflation and what to do about it. Even Duke Energy may consult with him about unexplained power outages.

But wait, have we forgotten the discoveries Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell revealed to us when they announced that the tsunami that killed some 230,000 south Asians years ago was a demonstration of God’s wrath at us folks in America. They also pointed out that the Twin Towers attack was God’s revenge on us, although they didn’t make it clear as to whether American women wearing blue jeans was the cause. Proof that God will kill folks in one tribe to get even with another tribe. So what’s new? ISIS is well known for killing each other or committing suicide in the Middle East to get even with us folks in America, all at God’s command.

I must admit to missing out on some of these learned new discoveries. Had I known that big pharma was preventing people from learning about the power of garlic to kill cancer cells, I might have saved the lives of a few friends of mine who died of cancer.

Just shows that we all must keep up with the latest scientific discoveries and maybe have second thoughts about letting your wife wear blue jeans.

Bob Wilson   

Franklin