Finding ways to slow down time
I’ve been wondering lately how to slow down time. If you’re a parent, I’m sure you would agree there’s a positive correlation between children getting older and days moving faster.
Maybe it’s because older kids are more self-sufficient and need less of our time and energy or maybe it’s because they have their own lives with jobs and friends and busy schedules so they’re literally just not around as much. Whatever the reason, this is happening to me right now and it’s very disorienting, so I’m trying my best to be mindful of every moment spent with my boys.
My older son is finishing up driver’s education while my younger son grew an inch in one month’s time. Sometimes I find myself just staring at them wondering how in the world the years went by so quickly. Elementary school seems like it takes forever because the kids are there for six years and they are very dependent upon us but once they hit middle school, it all flies by in a blur.
This past weekend was the NCHSAA State Championship for cross country. My older son and my boyfriend’s oldest daughter both qualified as freshmen. This was a big accomplishment and we were very proud of them. They both ran extremely well on Saturday, and once we left the meet we traveled to Raleigh to attend the N.C. State vs. Miami football game. I’m an N.C. State alum so I was very happy about the win over Miami which apparently was the first in many years.
Sunday we toured the campus of N.C. State because three of the four kids are interested in attending. I had not been on campus in over a decade except when picking up my older son from soccer camp a couple summers ago, but that was a very short visit and we didn’t have the opportunity to stop by some of my old haunts. When the boys were really little, we would stop by on our way to the Outer Banks each summer to get a yearly photo in front of the Bell Tower, but once my mom passed away, we stopped our annual beach trip and therefore didn’t have a reason to pass through Raleigh.
This past Sunday, however, we took the time to walk around and truly take in the campus. The nostalgia was intense, and everything came back to me as soon as I was there. I remembered exactly how to get to dorms, certain academic buildings, Reynolds Coliseum, the Brickyard, the library, the dining hall, all of it felt fresh in my memory. As we walked along the many brick sidewalks, it was truly hard to believe it had been two decades since I was a student.
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With all of this on my mind lately, I started wondering if there was a way to slow down time or at the least, make it feel like it’s moving more slowly, and in fact, there has been quite a bit of research conducted on this.
Mindfulness is a main way to slow down time. Simply put, being mindful is being in the moment and not ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. It’s easier said than done but as with any skill, we get better with practice. Novelty is another way to slow down time. When our brain receives new information, it creates new neural pathways which makes an experience seem like it lasted longer than it did. This is also why a five-day vacation to a new place can hold many more memories and seem like a longer time span than years of monotony. When you do the same thing day in and day out, the time passes quickly because it’s all one big blob of memory. Even if you can’t change up the big things like your job, you can switch up your route to work or try different coffee shops and lunch spots so at least there’s a little variety each day.
Multitasking creates chaos in our brain which makes us feel like we’re running out of time, so stop multitasking and work to focus on one thing at a time. Similarly, anything that creates a flow state, such as writing, drawing, reading, doing a puzzle, or playing an instrument, can make moments feel deeper and more intentional, so try and learn what flow state activities work for you.
Protecting the time that we already have is another way to slow down our days. Say “no” to events or obligations that don’t fuel you. Use your time intentionally and be present with the people around you instead of staring at the TV or scrolling on your phone.
Finally, stop chasing idols. Instead of worrying about money, fame, power or pleasure, slow down, let your mind wander, take in your surroundings and just be. If we’re always in a reactive state of chasing something, time seems like it’s flying. When we’re in a proactive state where we are intentional with our lives, time seems to slow down a little.
As I watch my boys grow and change right before my eyes, I realize how special every moment truly is. I’m not an expert on time, but I’m willing to grow wiser and do what it takes to slow it down a bit.
(Susanna Shetley is writer, editor and digital media specialist for The Smoky Mountain News. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)
