America’s golden age, or Gilded Age?
Did anyone else watch the inauguration? I mean, I’m sure it was the biggest, best and most-watched inauguration in the history of America, right? My eyes and ears were glued to my computer screen. It was unbelievable, more like a campaign rally speech where promises one knows they can never keep are bandied about like leaves falling from a tree.
So many promises I just can’t decide which I’m most excited about.
Most people promise the moon, but Trump wants to give us Mars instead, or at least he wants to “plant the Stars and Stripes” on the red planet. And did you see his billionaire bro Elon Musk’s reaction? The man who is supposed to save us billions as a government cost-cutter fist pumped at the Mars declaration, knowing that his Space X company will make many billions to get us there. The irony is too rich to make up.
And once we plant that flag, Musk gets to add another superlative to his name: not just the richest man on planet earth, but now the richest man on two planets. He’s already proclaimed he wants to die on Mars, so perhaps this is all destiny. God love him.
Apparently, God does indeed love Trump, if he says so himself. “I was saved by God to make America great again,” he crowed, referencing the failed assassination attempt in Pennsylvania. Divine intervention, no less, is what gave us this presidency. I mean, this is a holy Christian man now painting himself as a Messiah, right? No wonder he forgot to put his hand on the bibles his wife Melania was holding during the swearing in. That’s just a formality if you’re The Chosen One.
I’m a bit of a geography nerd. I love maps and place names and such, but remembering that the new name of the Gulf of Mexico is now the Gulf of America is gonna take some getting used to. Trump signed the order Monday. Mexico’s president, with tongue securely in cheek, has promised to rename the U.S. “America Mexicana,” saying it sounds “pretty” and that it was called just that in one of her country’s founding documents. Seeing as she’s a woman, it likely won’t take long for Trump to come up with some sexist and derogatory comment or name for her. I mean, that’s what he does to women who are smart, strong and don’t bow down to him.
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Trump’s also changing Denali, the native name Alaskans traditionally used, back to Mt. McKinley (named for the 25th president who was assassinated in 1901). That might piss off a lot of Alaskans, but hey, they’ll get over it. There aren’t really that many Alaskans anyway.
And finally, we get the declaration that “The golden age of America begins right now.” This is vintage Trump, anointed by God, trashing all the presidents sitting on one side behind him while the tech billionaires on the other side are laughing and jostling about, all of them getting better seats for the event than the incoming Cabinet leaders.
Is that a golden age, or a repeat of the Gilded Age? Only time will tell, but I’m betting on the latter.
(Scott McLeod can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)
