Online boundaries might save our souls
During the early 2000s when I was first teaching middle school, I heard my mentor say to one of our students, “Garbage in, garbage out.” At the time, it was simply a passing comment because the teen was listening to music with foul language, but it stuck with me and often floats through my mind as I consume content or guide my children in their consumption of content.
Back then, the comment referred to music, movies, and video games. Very few, if any, middle school students during those years had a phone, and smartphones did not yet exist.
When we take in “garbage” (hateful comments, explicit language, degrading words, disrespectful attitudes, etc.) we put “garbage” out into the world. The brain can’t help but be molded by what we consume and therefore act accordingly.
This brings me to a much-needed, timely boundary that I’ve been inadvertently creating over the past several years and plan to maintain with intention going forward. In this context, a boundary is defined as a limit we create for ourselves and apply through specific actions or clear communications. The boundaries in our lives help us feel safe and confident. They also help other people in our lives (friends, family, colleagues) understand us better which ultimately creates deeper, more meaningful relationships.
This column doesn’t provide space for in-depth explanations or explorations on the comprehensive topic of boundaries, so today I want to focus on boundaries related to social media and content consumption. This is a very unique and challenging type of boundary because the creators and managers of Meta, TikTok, YouTube, Amazon and other platforms know exactly how to tap, tap, tap our brain’s dopamine button. These companies spend millions of dollars learning how to create smartphone addicts with the all-mighty dollar as the end goal.
Holding firm boundaries or applying total abstinence from social media, online consumption or “buy-now” platforms, are radical acts of self-love and healthy rebellion. Instead, consider activities that prompt slow-release dopamine such as reading a book, journaling, going for a walk, exercising, drawing, listening to music, baking, gardening, completing a puzzle, getting lost in a conversation, playing a board game, doing a DIY project or cooking a meal.
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In 2009 when my first son was born, Facebook had been around for several years and until then, I’d been avoiding it, viewing the concept as nonsensical, but when friends and family across the country wanted to see pictures of my newborn son, I created an account and very quickly got sucked in to the hoopla of social media.
A couple years later, I wanted to initiate my writing career. Without a formal degree in journalism or bylines from print publications, I decided to create a blog and use that as a resume when pitching to write for newspapers and magazines. Blogging during those early years was very organic and enjoyable. Readers subscribed to blogs and became a committed reader as opposed to today’s world where people wait for links to be shared on social media or stumble upon a blog post via Google searches. But over time, blogging and social media became intimately intertwined so I was on social media more than ever, until I stopped blogging all together a number of years ago.
Meta and similar companies are especially savvy at brainwashing and manipulating young, malleable minds. Modern parents have to be extraordinarily vigilant and perceptive to help combat this. Family phone plans allow parents to put restrictions and time limits on apps, messaging and other types of usage as well as age limit restrictions and ratings on Google searches, streaming channels and other media, but still, it takes concerted effort to help kids understand the dangers of the online world and help them see the joys of life unrelated to their phones. My mom used to get annoyed if my sister and I spent too much time watching movies but now, I’m thrilled when my kids watch movies instead of stare at their phones.
I realize every generation has their own zeitgeist to navigate. While I feel today’s youth are much better than previous generations in terms of creating boundaries related to their beliefs, sexuality, physical space, and emotional needs, they aren’t excellent at creating boundaries around social media usage and online consumption. And in fact, most adults aren’t either.
Remember, “garbage in, garbage out.” What we take in, we put out. Let’s get off the devices. Let’s resist political brainwashing. Let’s rebel against those who think they’re smarter and more powerful than everyday folk. Read books and newspapers. Sit in the quiet. Let your inner voice speak to you. Get outside. Listen to the birds. Plant some seeds. Be bored. Play a game with your family. Learn a card trick. Paint a dresser. Clean out a drawer. Write a thank you card. Plan a trip. Bake homemade cookies.
Recently I viewed a recording of Prince giving a speech in 1999. He must’ve known what was coming and I think we would all do well to heed his advice. He said, “Don’t be fooled by the internet. It’s cool to get on the computer, but don’t let the computer get on you. It’s cool to use the computer, but don’t let the computer use you. You all saw ‘The Matrix.’ There is a war going on. The battlefield is in the mind and the prize is the soul, so be careful.”
(Susann Shetley is a writer, editor and digital media specialist who lives in Waynesville. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..)
