'A shelf on which to rest': Writing through trauma
Cabell Tice photo
As the life-threatening emergency faced in the wake Hurricane Helene ebbs in Haywood County and the reality of the long road to recovery washes over the region, so too does the task of processing the traumatic event. On Monday evening, Meredith McCarroll and Nickole Brown led a workshop at Orchard Coffee in Waynesville to help people process that trauma through writing.
“My hope is that by writing together, it will be healing,” said McCarroll.
The idea for Brown and McCarroll to hold a workshop for people to process trauma was born out of a shared experience — another flood, in another Appalachian town just a couple years ago.
Meredith McCarroll was born and raised in Waynesville and graduated from Appalachian State University. She later earned a Master’s from Simmons College and a PhD from the University of Tennessee. Now she lives in Portland, Maine, where she writes and teaches writing.
She is perhaps most well known for her work co-editing “Appalachian Reckoning,” a collection of essays composed in response to the best-selling “Hillbilly Elegy” written by vice presidential candidate JD Vance in 2016. The work, which was intended to illustrate the breadth and richness of Appalachia, won the American Book Award in 2019.
Nickole Brown received her MFA from Vermont College, studied literature at Oxford University and was the editorial assistant for the late Hunter S. Thompson. Her second book, “Fanny Says,” released in 2015, won the Weatherford Award for Appalachian Poetry.
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In the summer of 2022, McCarroll and Brown were roommates at the Appalachian Writers’ Workshop in Hindman, Kentucky, when a series of storms caused catastrophic flooding in the area.
“We had to evacuate that night, and the faculty apartment we were sharing flooded to the ceiling,” said Brown. “We’ve been through a flood before, and both of us ended up writing about it.”
Now, just over two years later, Brown experienced the devastation of Hurricane Helene when it swept over her home of Asheville.
In Maine, McCarroll had been trying to figure out what she could do to help the place she was born and raised, the place that is still home, from the aftermath of flooding when a friend from high school posted on social media encouraging people to write down their experiences.
Meredith McCarroll
“We went back and forth and there was this conversation about there being a need for someone to help people process through writing,” said McCarroll. “I did not want to come in as someone who hasn’t been here and have any sort of savior complex, I just wanted to be really mindful about making sure this was the right thing… I overwhelmingly heard from people that this would be helpful.”
While her teaching background is primarily in academic writing, when McCarroll was at Bowdoin College in Maine, she was asked to lead a writing group for people who had experienced sexual trauma. Both women have extensive experience writing through their own trauma and grief, and leading others through the same process.
“There’s this strong intersection between writing and processing,” said McCarroll. “The very act of taking the time to be quiet and to give voice to whatever it is that you’re feeling can be healing, and also that gathering together in community can be really healing. The confluence of these two things for me feels powerful and important at this moment.”
Orchard Coffee owner Cabell Tice opened up his Waynesville business for the event and Monday evening, Oct. 14, around 15 people gathered in person, with 12 more joining via zoom to participate in a writer’s workshop intended to help people process their traumatic experience through writing.
“I very much believe in the power of bearing witness to what you have experienced and to try to find words to give those memories a shelf on which to rest so that you don’t have to carry them all,” said Brown. “So that you can document, you can bear testimony, and in a way, you can put it down and let it go.”
From her work in trauma writing workshops, McCarroll knew that the act of gathering with people who have a shared experience, and who know they have a shared experience without having to give voice to it, can be just as powerful as any writing that takes place.
“There is a quiet acknowledgement that the person next to them gets it, that they know what this sort of trauma is like,” said McCarroll. “There is this understanding that allows safety and a sense of belonging, if not connection.”
That connection extends beyond the places immediately impacted by Hurricane Helene. The workshop itself was open to people from the Western North Carolina region and beyond, and participants joined from hard-hit areas around Haywood, Buncombe and Watauga counties, as well as one participant in upstate New York who was living in Haywood during flooding from Tropical Storm Fred in 2021. Others joined from Eastern Kentucky where flooding occurred in 2022.
Nickole Brown
Together, Brown and McCarroll led participants through a series of prompts, intended first to ground people in the current moment and space where they showed up to write, and eventually invited them to recount sensory detail of their experience.
“They’re intentionally open ended,” said McCarroll. “Someone may come and never write about a hurricane, may never talk about a flood. I’m not asking them to look directly at this thing that they’re still in, because only they can know how to maneuver it safely, and I can’t make that decision for anyone else.”
McCarroll said the work involves helping people get grounded, get into their senses and then also let go of emotions and feelings that aren’t serving them. This idea of writing from the corporeal experience is central to writing through trauma because of the way traumatic experiences manifest in the body.
“Trauma is stored in the body,” said Brown. “What I’m trying to do is to get people to write through the sensory images of the trauma, meaning, what did the floodwaters smell like? What was the air like? Did you taste anything? Tell me specifically what it is that you see. It helps to dislodge the debris that is stored.”
One of the prompts asked people to think about looking back on this experience in five, 10 or 15 years, and consider something they would want themselves to remember, some sort of lesson to take forward. Almost everyone who shared their writing after this prompt had something to say about the generosity of others. People said they’d want themselves to remember to hold onto their kindness, their softness and openness toward helping the people around them and asking for help where it was needed.
For those who are interested in working through trauma with pen and paper, but couldn’t attend Monday’s workshop, one thing Brown suggests is automatic writing — setting a timer and writing about what you remember for 20 minutes without lifting the pen, without judging what comes out.
“It’ll allow you to tap into things that you didn’t know you were carrying,” said Brown.
Another suggestion — to write down small instances of beauty and joy.
“These are moments that you would completely forget about if you didn’t write them down, but they are ways to sort of keep you stitched to your life, no matter what circumstance you’re in,” Brown said.
But most importantly, just the act of writing is enough. Just the act of writing can be helpful in moving through trauma and grief.
“There’s no right or wrong way to do it,” said McCarroll. “It’s important to just take the time to acknowledge that whatever you’re feeling is what you’re feeling, to validate that it is worth the time to give voice to your experiences and allow yourself to be surprised by what shows up on paper.”
Because these are tough times in WNC, Brown and McCarroll wanted to begin and end the workshop on a high note. Roots musician Sarah Elizabeth Burkey was there to open the workshop with a chilling acapella performance of “Gonna Rise Again,” by Si Kahn .
Likewise, the last prompt of the night asked people to focus on moments of beauty, so that the final images spoken into existence were those that live on in perpetuity in Appalachia — things like watching neighbors help neighbors, the night sky, the sound of bird song.
(Brown will continue to lead free writer’s workshops in WNC for people who want to process trauma through writing. Look for a forthcoming schedule in The Smoky Mountain News and learn more at hellbenderpoets.org.)
